"No Regrets"

So my first year of university is closer to the end than the beginning...and I mean, there's still about a month or two to go, but it's never too early for some reminiscing, right?
[wrong. there is a "too early" time, but I think it's close enough that I should be legal to go.]

I've learned a lot at school. Academically--not as much as I thought I would, although I've had some interesting classes and it was definitely good in that regard. But as far as life-lessons go, I think I've had a lot...not necessarily learned the easy way (aka listening to people who know better) but all the same, I've learned a lot. I was going to try and make a list of everything...but then decided it was just not going to work that way.
So I decided to talk about this "no regrets" philosophy.
I think it's crap. Basically.
Because having "no regrets" is basically translatable to "I will refuse to feel bad or about this later, in the event that it turns out to be a mistake, because it is something that makes me feel good now, and because of that, it's ok."
Maybe that seems cynical or something, but I think regrets are a good thing. Regrets are what keep you from making mistakes more than once.
Of course, to go one-better than that, not making mistakes in the first place is even better.
But, going with the assumption/fact that everyone makes mistakes...some more than others, some more often than others, some in a more extreme way than others...it's going to happen. Regretting mistakes is healthy, I think. Beating yourself up continuously and refusing to let go of the past is one thing, but having a healthy measure of understanding for when you've made a mistake is another.
And to be honest, I feel like I've got a lot to regret after this year.
I regret not standing up for what I believe more often.
I regret hurting people.
I regret the times I've had people counting on me, and I've let them down.
I regret the times I've not given my best in my school work, in my friendships, in my life in general.
I regret not caring when it mattered.
I regret not giving God my priority.
I regret not spending more time with the people who are worth spending time with.
I regret more than I want to, and more than I've written, but I don't want to be an exhibitionist nor do I really want to go and have an emotion-vomiting session in a public forum. But I'm just saying, there's a lot of things I wish I did differently.
On the positive side, it's never too late to change. I mean, it is once you're dead. But as much as there are consequences for screwing up, giving up on putting in the effort is a lame way to cope. Refusing to think about things, refusing to care...in as much as it's effective, its like putting a bandage over a bullet wound. Sure, you can't see it anymore, and you might be able to stop the blood flow, but sometimes you have to take the bullet out cause it can still cause damage in there.
Ok...and my medicalish analogies suck, but hopefully you see what I'm getting at.
All this being said though, I've learned some other stuff too.
I've met some awesome people at school, who I would never have predicted becoming friends with. And some of the people who I don't necessarily have a ton in common with have become some of my best friends, and I've really appreciated that...in as much as they might not know it because I am not always good at proving that. I've learned that family is important, and that ultimately, the people who have brought you up and loved you your whole life know a lot...and even if you disagree with them, they're worth listening to.
I've also learned to make my own decisions, and while they aren't necessarily ones I've been proud of...I know I can make my own. Which is slightly frightening and also encouraging.

I guess, ultimately, it takes effort to stand up for what you believe. And to be disciplined with freedom. But it's worth it. And as much as I regret over-using my freedom, I don't plan to anymore. And maybe I'll mess up again, but I will not make the same mistakes. That's my plan. AND, I'm sticking to it.
peace out.