From experience, from observation: It's been a learning experience. Frankly, there are a handful of lectures that stand out, but hundreds of people, challenges, and breathtakingly beautiful moments that have made the last four years into quite the life-shaping experience. Check it out if you like, add your own if you feel so inclined :)
In regard to friends:
There are way more people in University than high school. Ergo, you have way more choices for people to hang out with, and for the people you don't want to spend time with...you don't have to!
Things that have benefited me: becoming friends with my first year poddies. (823 Glengarry!) Jessica, Paige, Jennifer (and yeah I know you weren't there first year, Jen, but you were basically adopted into the clan soooo I shall count you anyway)...we aren't necessarily the most similar of people, and I don't see them as often as I'd like...but in moments of crisis or happiness, they're the girls who I want to share it with. They've been there through the same four-year growth period and everyone's changed (or stayed the same) as a part of the same experience.
Make friends with people who have lived completely different lives than you. People from different cultures, different family backgrounds, different everything. Keep an open mind, and let yourself learn from them. I'm not saying 'go native' (to use the very non-PC but generally understood terminology)...but let their experiences teach you and broaden your view of the world.
Allow nature to run its course with hometown friends. The lasting friendships will be there when you get back, and the ones that were only a thing because you had no other options...well, life will move on for both of you. This doesn't have to be a sad thing, and you never know: you could reconnect later. But don't cling too tightly to things that aren't really there.
Focus on being a good friend, not on finding them, and you'll probably get the same in return.
If/when people grow apart, it doesn't have to be sad. You can always cherish the role they played in your life at that time, and remember how special they were, but again, you can't hold onto everything. There are some friends who you can take a lot of time from seeing, and then be back together like no time has passed, but that isn't going to be the case with everyone.
In regard to school:
Start the semester off organized and try to keep it that way. The natural progression of things is from order to chaos, and this has been quite true in my school experience as well.
Not all professors are inhuman robot-types. From what I've heard, this could be slightly dependent on your program of study haha...but in my experience, it can be worthwhile to try to connect with some of the good ones, and really get the benefit of their knowledge as well. I've had some profs who I'd consider to be like family, and I am actually quite appreciative of both their classes and the support they've offered. I know it sounds kind of lame, but it's always good to connect with the people who are working in the field you're entering into. Besides that, most of them were actively working in other areas of Communications (or whatever it is you studied) prior to teaching, and you can learn a lot from them.
If you have a choice for when to sign up for presentations, etc, pick the earliest ones: the semester generally seems to just get busier as it goes, they usually mark the first ones a little more leniently, and then it's over with!
Mark down deadlines in prominent places as soon as you get them (day planner, calendar, whatever). Aim to be done 24 hours before it's due.
In general:
"No regrets" is not always an option. Sometimes you have to go with what you think you will regret least. Life's complicated.
If you're always making excuses for or rationalizing yourself to people, then you are either making mistakes that you're in denial of, or you're hanging out with people who are incredibly dumb. Consider the first option to be the most likely, and deal accordingly.
Love is the single most dangerous and beautiful thing: full of paradoxes, surprises, complications, and happiness. It is a guaranteed way to add some pretty wacky dimensions to your life. Be careful with it, and be careful about where you put your heart.
Don't let everyone else set your priorities for you. If you have to do homework, if you have to work, if you have to go to bed, if you have to stop drinking BEFORE you get to the toilet-embracing stage...make those decisions yourself, because the odds are good that nobody is going to make them for you. Know what your long-term goals are and don't cave to the guilt trips or persistence. I'm not saying that there aren't times when you should just take a break, let loose a bit...but it's time, place, and a matter of making sure you're accomplishing what you came for.
Don't let people make your life decisions for you. Listen to advice, but don't take it all personally. Don't just listen to the people who tell you what you want to hear. Make your own choices, ESPECIALLY when it's hard, and stand behind them. It's very probable that you will make mistakes. But at least they'll be your own, and when you can take ownership of them, you can learn from them a lot faster.
Don't believe everything you hear: in classrooms, from your friends, from the people you date, from the randoms you come across. Questioning things isn't bad--it protects you. You never know what people's motivations are. People will manipulate you, use you, mistreat you and otherwise cause you pain, if you let them. Not everyone. And not everything you hear is a line--but some of it is. Be on your guard, and pay attention if your gut is telling you something isn't right.
Don't be afraid to say no to things you don't want to do. Even if it seems innocuous and you can't think of a logical reason for that nagging sense in your gut that it's a bad plan...stick to your answer.
29.4.13
Apologies: to the people I never got to say it to, and the people I've said too many to.
I'm sorry for stealing that fuzzy fabric square from grade one arts and crafts. Even after the big classroom announcement, I was too scared to bring it back and I hid it in my closet. It haunted me for years in there.
I'm sorry I dumped the training toilet on your head. That was inappropriate. I'd like to say I was too young to know any better, but...I wasn't.
I'm sorry I didn't come clean immediately when they blamed you. I guess there's a trend developing, but sometimes it can take me some time to do the right thing. I'm trying to, I promise.
I'm sorry I was so insecure. I know that probably wrecked any chances of things working out there.
I'm sorry for not spending more time with you when I could, and for resenting your concern for me.
I'm sorry I get impatient with you as you get older. You're still the sweetest dog around; just a little senile.
I'm sorry for not putting in more of an effort to see you. It's not that I don't care; it's that I'm too scared of getting used to you and then the inevitable distance.
I'm sorry for the time I heard them make a joke about you that wasn't funny, and I laughed along because it was easier than standing up for you.
I'm sorry for judging you without knowing you at all, or for developing a lot of angry feelings towards you.
I'm sorry for throwing out that shoebox of letters. I'm not sorry that life's moved on from then, or that I'm over it, but I'm sorry that I was so bitter when I did it.
I'm sorry for not always loving you the way I said I would. And I'm sorry for the way things changed. I don't know what I could have done differently, but I wish I did.
I'm sorry for playing along with your games, even when it wasn't authentic. Sometimes it seems easier to stick to the script, but it obviously wasn't right.
I'm sorry for letting you down.
7.4.11
Blogging: Part 1: Stereotypes and Niche Markets: What I've noticed on Tumblr and Blogger (thus far)
I have had a variety of blogs in the past, most of which I either grew disinterested in, forgot about, or got sick of reading my old posts in. It's not that I ever really stopped loving writing, but my subject matter, mood, and general outlook tend to change, and sometimes that resulted in me getting rid of old blogs. Currently, I have this one, as well as a tumblr account. I also follow a fairly large amount of blogs, more than I actually have time to read, but on occasion I do, in fact, take the time to check them out. And I've developed a way to sort the different types of blogs out there.
First, it should be noted that there is a huge difference between the types of blogs/the places people choose to blog. WordPress, Blogger, Tumblr, etc all cater to different styles, and often end up attracting niche audiences.
Note: I'm also going to engage in some stereotyping in this post, so please just take it with a grain of salt and develop your own opinion if you don't like mine.
Tumblr, as a general rule, incorporates many more diverse styles of media: photos, video, memes, copious amounts of gif's...for those who understand mild amounts of geekspeak, it's a virtual playground. For those who don't, they still get the benefit of posting any and all things they find remotely interesting. I do it myself, so I'm not trying to rip on these people because of it. Very few posters actually write posts of a significant length, unless it's to bemoan romantic difficulties. There is a significant population of people who are in the process of questioning their sexuality, as well as people who appreciate the culture of the '90's. In addition, there are also a great amount of thinspo, shipping, and just really weird stuff out there. Not to say some of it isn't interesting or valid or useful...but it's sort of like the internet is a haven for all the people who have some serious issues and can find other people with similar problems and start thinking they're normal.
Blogger, to the best of my knowledge thus far, is primarily cynical wannabe writers, hopeful wannabe writers, mothers writing about their young children, Bible studies, propaganda, pet owners, people with singular obsessions, and people with too much time on their hands. No hate to any of these groups, it's just that everything I've seen thus far fits into one or more of these.
So, that's the start. I'm gonna probably talk more about this later, but it's currently exam time and I've procrastinated enough as it is. So I'll keep you posted :)
Peace.
First, it should be noted that there is a huge difference between the types of blogs/the places people choose to blog. WordPress, Blogger, Tumblr, etc all cater to different styles, and often end up attracting niche audiences.
Note: I'm also going to engage in some stereotyping in this post, so please just take it with a grain of salt and develop your own opinion if you don't like mine.
Tumblr, as a general rule, incorporates many more diverse styles of media: photos, video, memes, copious amounts of gif's...for those who understand mild amounts of geekspeak, it's a virtual playground. For those who don't, they still get the benefit of posting any and all things they find remotely interesting. I do it myself, so I'm not trying to rip on these people because of it. Very few posters actually write posts of a significant length, unless it's to bemoan romantic difficulties. There is a significant population of people who are in the process of questioning their sexuality, as well as people who appreciate the culture of the '90's. In addition, there are also a great amount of thinspo, shipping, and just really weird stuff out there. Not to say some of it isn't interesting or valid or useful...but it's sort of like the internet is a haven for all the people who have some serious issues and can find other people with similar problems and start thinking they're normal.
Blogger, to the best of my knowledge thus far, is primarily cynical wannabe writers, hopeful wannabe writers, mothers writing about their young children, Bible studies, propaganda, pet owners, people with singular obsessions, and people with too much time on their hands. No hate to any of these groups, it's just that everything I've seen thus far fits into one or more of these.
So, that's the start. I'm gonna probably talk more about this later, but it's currently exam time and I've procrastinated enough as it is. So I'll keep you posted :)
Peace.
10.3.11
A dream is a wish your heart makes.
For about a year when I was thirteen, I had the same dream just about every night.
It went like this:
I was in a medium-size room, in a place that was sort of like a cabin. The walls, the floor...everything was a warm golden oak colour. It was mostly empty except for one medium-size window directly across the room from me. There were these white/cream lacy curtains on it, and out the window you could see this mountainous/foresty area. It was really pretty. The sun was shining.
All of that was secondary though, because on the floor there was this skeleton. It was cream coloured. This skeleton crawled towards me, the whole dream. I couldn't move; I couldn't look away. Time passed, and I could tell because of the sunlight moving across the wood floor, and the shadows across the floor. I was nervous--apprehensive might be a more accurate term--but accepting. And every time it got to me, I woke up.
I have no idea if it means anything or not, but I just remembered this today.
It went like this:
I was in a medium-size room, in a place that was sort of like a cabin. The walls, the floor...everything was a warm golden oak colour. It was mostly empty except for one medium-size window directly across the room from me. There were these white/cream lacy curtains on it, and out the window you could see this mountainous/foresty area. It was really pretty. The sun was shining.
All of that was secondary though, because on the floor there was this skeleton. It was cream coloured. This skeleton crawled towards me, the whole dream. I couldn't move; I couldn't look away. Time passed, and I could tell because of the sunlight moving across the wood floor, and the shadows across the floor. I was nervous--apprehensive might be a more accurate term--but accepting. And every time it got to me, I woke up.
I have no idea if it means anything or not, but I just remembered this today.
27.2.11
Sick thoughts, in the pure sense.
Now, I know this might be lame, but I figure: my blog, my rules. And I had a surprisingly good weekend, so I want to talk about it.
I had an amazing time the past week at home just hanging out with my family and catching up, sleeping, patting my dog...it was stellar. I love home. Unfortunately, I find that when I slow down, that's often when I end up being sick. It's like the sickness catches up to me once I stop running around, and then takes over my body. I was highly disappointed with this--not only because it sucks to be sick--but because it completely wrecked a bunch of my plans, and severely cramped my style. I was looking forward to coming back to Ottawa slightly early--somewhat to try to pick up shifts and to catch up on homework...difficult to do at home...but also because I was going to hang out with Manuel for a bunch on Saturday. He had this whole plan, and I was maaajor excited.
Unfortunately, my sickness (and the homework levels on both our parts) made this plan a no-go. I sounded like Gollum upon returning to O-town and (totally honestly) didn't look much different from the critter. To be totally honest, I was really nervous for him to see me like that. As in, total mess. Coughing uncontrollably, hard enough to make myself sick and to make my eyes water, on-and-off fever, swollen nose and lips...I wore horrible clothing, had nasty hair...not my best. Besides that, I always feel very vulnerable when I'm sick so I was terrified that he would be totally repulsed and I would be embarrassed and it would just be a bad scene all around.
And nothing of the sort happened.
Even though sickness makes me sappy, I just wanted to share this stuff, cause it made my heart smile. He'd probably be embarrassed if he ever read this....but too bad :P. The guy took care of me, the whole time I was sick. Well, most of it anyway. He got me water, NeoCitran tea (amazing stuff, by the way), and was essentially...incredibly caring. He made me laugh, so hard (not so good for my cough...but good for the soul haha) and still called me pretty, even though I kind of looked like a crazy homeless person. And all of this meant a lot to me, because I realized that I was so afraid for him to see me like that...at my worst, and he didn't run away from it at all. He could handle all the grossities of my leaky nose and could laugh with me at my crazy hair and still kissed my chapped lips and, for the first time, I actually really understood that he liked me, as a person, and that I didn't have to be perfect all the time for him to hang around. And maybe this is a weird, TMI post for y'all...but you know what? It meant more to me than almost anything. And that's just what I felt like talking about today.
Peace.
I had an amazing time the past week at home just hanging out with my family and catching up, sleeping, patting my dog...it was stellar. I love home. Unfortunately, I find that when I slow down, that's often when I end up being sick. It's like the sickness catches up to me once I stop running around, and then takes over my body. I was highly disappointed with this--not only because it sucks to be sick--but because it completely wrecked a bunch of my plans, and severely cramped my style. I was looking forward to coming back to Ottawa slightly early--somewhat to try to pick up shifts and to catch up on homework...difficult to do at home...but also because I was going to hang out with Manuel for a bunch on Saturday. He had this whole plan, and I was maaajor excited.
Unfortunately, my sickness (and the homework levels on both our parts) made this plan a no-go. I sounded like Gollum upon returning to O-town and (totally honestly) didn't look much different from the critter. To be totally honest, I was really nervous for him to see me like that. As in, total mess. Coughing uncontrollably, hard enough to make myself sick and to make my eyes water, on-and-off fever, swollen nose and lips...I wore horrible clothing, had nasty hair...not my best. Besides that, I always feel very vulnerable when I'm sick so I was terrified that he would be totally repulsed and I would be embarrassed and it would just be a bad scene all around.
And nothing of the sort happened.
Even though sickness makes me sappy, I just wanted to share this stuff, cause it made my heart smile. He'd probably be embarrassed if he ever read this....but too bad :P. The guy took care of me, the whole time I was sick. Well, most of it anyway. He got me water, NeoCitran tea (amazing stuff, by the way), and was essentially...incredibly caring. He made me laugh, so hard (not so good for my cough...but good for the soul haha) and still called me pretty, even though I kind of looked like a crazy homeless person. And all of this meant a lot to me, because I realized that I was so afraid for him to see me like that...at my worst, and he didn't run away from it at all. He could handle all the grossities of my leaky nose and could laugh with me at my crazy hair and still kissed my chapped lips and, for the first time, I actually really understood that he liked me, as a person, and that I didn't have to be perfect all the time for him to hang around. And maybe this is a weird, TMI post for y'all...but you know what? It meant more to me than almost anything. And that's just what I felt like talking about today.
Peace.
11.2.11
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