Dedicated to a year gone by.

Your kiss is a needle
Getting under my skin
I don't know
[I never knew.]
whether you're giving
or taking,
but:
I know
[I always knew]
beginnings
and ends
are the parts that hurt worst.

Carleton Library, circa 3 a.m.

This is the first time in second year that I have been awake on the Carleton campus at this sort of ridiculously early hour in the morning. Granted, it happened enough times in first year that I should be well acquainted with the sort of lingering chill/fog/buzz that tends to settle in my brain around this hour. I'm happy because I'm going to be done for the semester soon, worried because (yet again) it kind of feels like I haven't dedicated all the effort I should have into my work...but I think I'm doing better than last year, so it's all up in the air. Mentally, I'm shot. Physically, deteriorating but learning how to survive on less sleep and food and more running around. Friendship-ly, everything's changing and I'm ok with that. Romantically...undecided and intentionally not thinking about it. Spiritually, I feel like I'm slowly getting better. Now that the self-diagnosis is out of the way, back to my comm paper. Or potentially travelling to the third floor and crashing until 6:30 this morning, at which time I'm headed home to shower, grab some food and textbooks, a power nap, and be back at school for 10:30. That's my life, folks. Not the worst, not the best, and not really all that exciting. Sorry.

I'll just imagine the caffeine I would intake right about now if I wasn't a broke student without the funds to purchase it.

Today is going to be an interesting day. I can tell. I should know, because I've only missed about two and a half hours of it since it started, and it's going to continue on for about twelve more hours, and I will probably be awake for most of that too. November... definitely the season to make Christmas/ winter break far more appreciated. Today, instead of being frustrated or feeling dead, I'm surprisingly wide awake. The feeling of accomplishment (finishing the essay of DOOM), of having a far better idea of what to do for my final project for my Communications Research class (which, if you are not mathematically minded or miss a lab, is painfully difficult), and probably the haze of cloudy brain-fog keeping me from panicking. One more essay, one more project, and then I'm done until exams. Granted, exams aren't that far off....but still. The momentary release from the pressure of school work is appreciated.

I don't really have anything particularly insightful, deep, or hilarious to draw out of this for you...sorry...but I'm in a good mood and I have a few minutes to kill before class, so I thought I'd try to lighten things up around this blog o'mine and give you some menial day-details. Charming, I know.

Peace out, girl scouts.